Little know movie about a widower father who's kids are spread out all over the country. Kind of sad. I had to fight to hold back the tears. Why am I mentioning it here? It had a powerful message. One that I find myself struggling with. Parent vs child. Not a battle in the true sense, but the wounds that result are just as painful and hard to recover from as if they came from a war wound.
As I watched I could relate as both parent and child. Something my stage of life has rewarded me with. But here is the point. We too often hurt the ones we love when we are trying to protect them from hurting!
Parents just want the best for their kids. We wish for them to not have to suffer the same growing pains we had to go through. Not really possible, but never the less, that is the goal. The advise given, if they are normal, loving parents, is to help, never harm.
We want to instill excellence. Make them develop to their full potential.
But they end up viewing it as being about what they do as what makes the parent proud. If they fall short of their potential, we may be disappointed for them, but not disappointed with them. The sad part is that kids just can't understand.
As a parent, I am proud of my kids for who they are, not what they do.
I love them just because they are mine. Period.
No strings attached.
Always and forever.